Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in shadow_protocol's LiveJournal:

Friday, April 3rd, 2009
1:33 pm	Damn You Well, Cody you're now an awesome friend, yet a horrible asshole as well. Thanks much for it though, but I WILL pay you back damnit. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
10:51 am	To the God of Misfortune You win once again, but I promise to crush you once and for all in the end! (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 23rd, 2008
2:36 am	Unstable Mindset So as no one is up that can talk, this is all I am able to do. Originally, I simply thought of Nancy as just a cute girls, no big deal right? I wouldn't fall for her, there's no way. Well as time progresses, Vang started to like her, Rith tutored her in Chem, she broke up with her boyfriend, and some other guy started hanging around her. Somehow Vang fell for her, I believe. So I pressed forward for him to go after her. Why did I fall for her in the process??? Friday November 21: I finally had the ability to talk to Nancy alone. I enjoyed her company and I played a low card. I revealed that Vang liked her and that I notice those who are going after her. This conversation lasted quite a bit where I told her that 3 other guys were after her. I told her that I would never lie to her, but I reserve the right not to answer. For the other three guys, she guessed as Vang (1), Tien (who I corrected her as not one), the guy she's been hanging out with (2), I corrected her in that it's not Rith. Wondering who the third one is, I told her that I would be the 4th. So she continued to guess and even guessed me again. I sway her away from me without lying. This is now getting out of control; I might reverting back to my evil self now. I betrayed a good friend. Saturday: I played ITG, okay workout, went to work. No problems all day until after work. I really didn't want to go to Coffman. Vang relied on me to take him to Nancy's restaurant though and Rith wanted to go as well. I thought this is a bit too much though. I really did not want to go. For the night, we went to the restaurant, talked a bit, and then "he" awoke again. I despise my dark side so much. I was jealous that Rith handled much more attention for Nancy. Was I there to help Vang? I ended up using the time to text which then I found out that Kimmeh's sister went missing. Was is concern for Kimmeh's sister that compelled me to get out of there or was it jealousy? Sometimes I see a Victor in Rith. It annoys me. I messed around with the bottle cap opener and then her father comes over with a pissed off look grabs it and scolds Nancy. At that moment, I remember Izzy telling me to get in the good zone with her parents. That shattered in my opinion... I got pissed off at Vang for insisting to come with me in search of Kimmeh's sister. He is not fit for the other world. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 13th, 2007
9:56 am	02/13/2007 Oh damn, it's been a little while since I wrote here. Anyways, it has been very boring these few days. Valentine's day is right around the corner and I could care less. The manga arc I've been working on is ending up like Perfect Girl Evolution, where there is somewhat of a plot, but no progress to that end. Still working out the kinks. Updating later. (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 14th, 2007
4:51 am	Yeah, for unforgettable animes and manga, I'm posting a log of them, today I finished Yoake mae yori ruriiro na "Crescent Love" and it was nice... (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 14th, 2006
1:38 am	Damn it, I'm sick, my back hurts like shit, and now I have a final in 9-10 hours. Currently in Walter Library at the U, and now I need to manage how the hell I'm supposed to get out of this mess... (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 9th, 2006
6:10 am	So wanna know what I did on Friday, okay, nothing... I didn't feel so well so I skipped both Stats and Latin, here's the problem, oh shit there was a quiz in stats, and I'm being docked off points in Latin... Things eventually get better right? (Comment on this)
Friday, December 8th, 2006
3:13 am	I realized that I really haven't been posting for a while... so what? Anyways, currently still girlfriendless....yes.... pathetic to a degree, and Dan has already beaten me. Damn, he's having a kid before me =P. School: Oh shit, I haven't been as strong as I could be. I don't know why, I think I'm coming down with something but it's been a long while since I actually feel strong/healthy. Maybe I'm dying, ha! I seriously can't concentrate or think right. I'm picking up my grades, but also it seems to be dropping... Social Life (in getting a girl): Dead... Social Life (normal): Meh... it's alright. Currently in Magic Club, that's all... Getting annoyed by being asked out to go out continuously... Want to actually have a Friday or Saturday night off so I could be somewhat normal. Philosophical: College kids could go to hell. All I hear is "bitch, bitch, bitch" about professor this or homework that. Go to hell assholes. You guys have parents who are like "Oh honey, are you short some money, here you go!" Fuck you, and you think you have the right to complain about life. I have 3 jobs, one that doesn't pay much, one that does pay decently for a living, but a pain in the ass, and one that is nice to work at, at the mall, but can't fit in enough hours. I volunteer once per week at a Children's hospital. Trying to get into Medical School, but realize that God has to be a prick and said, "let this guy suffer to get what he wants, while this guy, who doesn't deserve such a great life or an easy path should get one anyways just because his parents are rich." Fuck this shit. True I love my parents, I reason that they can't support me so much is the fact that I'm so far away and that they never had the opportunity to get an education. To the preachers on campus, get the fuck off. So God one day was like, "Yeah, I'll give the guys on Earth a visit, sure... only visit one part of the world, maybe that'll be enough to prove who I am." Yup, it's been 2000+ years, where the fuck are you? If God was so divine, why does he not give a damn? How twisted must one be to create suffering? This is my biggest rant against organized religion. So anyways, I'm calming down slowly... Psychologically I know my fundamental flaws... 1) I am to trusting and want to be liked, so I go to great lengths, even if it is a personal cost... 2) I am unable to express much emotion to family other than infants... 3) I hate to lose or to not be the best in a field... (hence why I always think that if life has been different, I would be the best in so-and-so field because I would've had the time for it) 4) Emotionally lonely..., hence the "desperation" in finding a girl is because that "hope" of being in love basically runs my life. I need attachment, yet it is rarely fulfilled... 5) People say that I'm not fat, but indeed I am. Maybe it was growing up heavily overweight that caused me to suffer from this "fat and ugly" complex, but accepting myself as who I am is really hard... There is probably more to this section, but life goes on, everybody has their own problems. More to come, and I'll update too!!! (Comment on this)
Monday, April 10th, 2006
3:17 am	OoOoOo...Can't Sleep Hmm... I don't know what's with me right now, can't really sleep. Not much to say tonight, I wish I had a lot of extra time on my hands. Hoping I survive the last wave of tests and finals and pass all my classes. When that happens, May is open and free and dedicated to WoW leveling up. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 27th, 2006
2:19 am	Tres joli, tres, tres joli Yeah, many things can happen in a short period of time. Apparently if I interact with a certain number of people, I slowly become depressed. It's weird, guy mood swings. Well, if I planned out today right, things have the possibility of moving smoothly, but rushed. Somehow I must understand concepts beyond the box in order to survive Calc. Tres joli Megan, tres, tres joli. My memories of people and places is short and limited. In order to preserve the memories I do have, livejournal and myspace will keep record of that. Edit: March 9, 2009 How do you do it Megan? Thank you for saving my soul. For that I exchange my heart. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 26th, 2006
3:01 am	First Entry Thankfully, most people do not know about Shadow Protocol as an alias. So I am free to say much. First off, I am not interested much in friends (like myspace or facebook), I am merely using this to write my thoughts. School: Yeah, much to do now. First, Tuesday will suck, like usual because I have a lab report due, the last one sucked horribly. Then I have to worry about a group presentation that I have no idea how to approach it. Oh, and I can't forget about the damn Calc Midterm. I CANNOT waste Sunday away at the arcade, no matter what! Friday is the O-Chem midterm as well. !@#$..... Social Life: Ha! The only real thing I do with my social life is WoW, play cards, and DDR/ITG. Love Life: Again... Not much could be done. Laura's gonna be off in France, it'll be months before I have the possibility of seeing her. I like flirting with her, but do I honestly see a relationship whatsoever? Oh, and Elizabeth is for sure going to Ireland. I thought that I wouldn't fall for her, but I think I am, yet I'm not going to try to ask her out, although I thought about it. And the one that got away, Megan... What to say about her? For me, she drives my sense of perfection. I always feel like I'm not the best, so I could never try to be anything more than friends. And even then, I am only staying as "distance" online friends. We talk the most through either facebook or myspace. I wish she would give me some kind of sign. Other than that, I'm really not looking for a relationship. Current Mood: stressed (2 Comments |Comment on this)